RhodesFamily.org
The Website for Rhoades, Rhoads, Rhodes, Rhodus, Roads, de Rodes, Rodes Family Genealogy

MURPHY WAS A GENEALOGIST


The keeper of the vital records you need
will have just been insulted by another genealogist.

Your great-grandfather's obituary states that he died, leaving no issue of record.

The town clerk you wrote to in desperation,
and finally convinced to give you the information you need,
can't write legibly, and doesn't have a copying machine.

That ancient photograph of four relatives, one of whom is your progenitor,
carries the names of the other three.

Copies of old newspapers have holes which occur only on maiden and surnames.

No one in your family tree ever did anything noteworthy, always rented property,
was never sued, and was never named in wills.

You learned that Great Aunt Matilda's executor just sold
her life's collection of family genealogical materials to a flea market dealer
"somewhere in New York City."

Yours is the ONLY last name not found among the billions
in the LDS archives in Salt Lake City.

Ink fades and paper deteriorates at a rate inversley proportional
to the value of the data recorded.

Anything that could have burned, did.

The census taker with the clear handwriting and good ink
never enumerated your ancestors.

If you find a well-documented, illustrious ancestor,
you've probably made a mistake.

Your folks hated government and never filled out forms.

The book you need is never indexed, or, if indexed, doesn't include people.

Your families never had attics, much less Bibles or boxes full of photos.

All real library "finds" are made five minutes before closing,
when the copier is broken.

The correctly shelved books and correctly filed forms are never the ones you need.

The person sitting next to you at the research center
is finding ancestors every five minutes...and telling you.

The e-mail address that bounces is the one from a person who listed your exact names.
If you find a working address, you aren't related.

Your microfilm reader is the one that squeaks,
has to be turned backwards, and doesn't quite focus.

Your cemeteries have no caretaker or records archive.

Alternate spellings and arcane names were your folks' favorite pasttimes.

Your ancestors only knew three names,
and used them over and over in every collateral line.

Your sister neglects to mention that the date she gave you,
which you have researched, and sent to other researchers,
was just a guess with no foundation, and she guessed
because she "didn't like leaving that line blank."

Your mother neglects to mention that,
"Oh, yes, we knew they changed their name.

The critical link in your family tree is named "Smith."

The document containing evidence of the missing link
in your research invariably will be lost due to fire, flood or war.

The will you need is in the safe on board the "Titanic".

The spelling of your European ancestor's name
bears no relationship to its current spelling or pronunciaiton.

The 37 volume, sixteen-thousand-page history of your county of origin isn't indexed.

The blot on the page of the census covers your grandmother's birthdate!

Your ancestor's will leaves his estate to his beloved wife and children
but he doesn't name them.

The only overturned, face-down gravestone in the cemetery
is your great-great grandfather's!

The information you desperately need could be only found in an 1890 census?

You finally find your ancestor's obituary in an old newspaper
and all it says is "Died last week."

You finally get a day off from work to travel to a courthouse --
and when you get there it's closed for emergency plumbing repairs.

 

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